Why is My Child Acting this Way? – Every “bad” behaviour is a sign of an unmet need
Written by Lisa Harrietha-Benson
Independent coach – Nova Scotia, Canada
Your child has been having tantrums, fighting with you, acting out in school and you are asking yourself, “Why is my child acting this way”? Did you know that you are asking the perfect question? The reality is that behaviour is communication! The behaviours we often see as negative or bad are occurring because the child is missing something in their life. The child who acts out is not BAD perhaps s/he is calling for help.
I always knew that behaviour was a form of communication, and that each behaviour had a function but it was two things that really solidified this for me. I truly realized behaviour was a result of an unmet need after taking the Kids Life Studio® Kids Life Coaching Certification course. It was some of the lessons in the course and the reading on behaviour that truly opened my eyes. The other thing was really paying attention to my son and his sometimes “Why is he acting that way behaviour”? As I paid closer attention I saw all the patterns.
The online assessment for coaching (found here: https://www.kidslifestudio.com/assessments/) also opened my eyes to some of the imbalances. The assessment looks at things like family dynamics, personalities, well-being, stress, school, eating and more. As I completed the assessment (and was trained to analyze it) – I became aware of how many areas needed attention! And yes I admit as an early childhood educator and trainer Kids Life Coach, I needed help too. There is never shame in asking for help!
So back to the “Why’s”. There are so many whys that could be the reasons to why your child may be acting out— some include hunger, lack of sleep, physical discomfort, boredom, a need for attention, anxiety, sensory overload, lack of consistent routine or feeling like they have no control in their lives to name a few.
The triggers for my son tend to be lack of sleep, too much sugar, being in an overstimulating environment, changes in regular routine or when he picks up on stress in the environment. I find knowing those things is so helpful because measures can be put in place to prevent “bad” behaviour. Furthermore, with my son we made some dietary changes, shared with him the importance of good sleep, healthy food and exercise and helped him understand what his body was telling him. Essentially I modelled and shared with him the tools and ingredients in the Kids Life Studio®️ Coaching program. The “bad” behaviour has decreased and he now asks for what he needs!
Do you want to find out more about the whys behind your child’s behaviour? Taking note of patterns can help. It’s important to remain positive and consistent while remembering the child is not giving you a hard time – they are having a hard time! If you feel you are having trouble doing it alone – A Kids Life Coach can help. As you complete the assessment, the coach will tailor make a program based on your assessment results and the needs of your child/family. The program can help children feel happy, motivated and inspired as they learn all about making good choices and becoming the leader of their own lives.