Being Kind to Ourselves
All U Need is U Kids Life Studio®
Lavon, Texas, USA
Think of a person you love. Make a mental list of all the things you love about that person. Would you do that for yourself too? Try to find all the physical and emotional aspects you like about yourself and make a list of them. When you compare both lists, which one is longer?
The reason I am asking this is because when I look at myself in the mirror, I immediately turn my sight to my pimples, my dark spots, my cellulite. Without saying a word, I am criticizing myself. I am choosing to be mean with myself if I am being completely honest, and how did I become aware of that? Two reasons: when I started coaching, I realized that when I talked to my coachees about goals, the mirror talk was our #1. Why? Because it is the best strategy to help us become aware of how negative we are when we look at ourselves in the mirror and it helps us make that switch and immediately find something that we like about ourselves.
However, was I really walking the walk and talking the talk? No, not at all. I was trying but not hard enough. I started with “I love my eyes” and that was it. My head is so used to looking for things that I don’t like about myself that I couldn’t move forward.
When I am with both of my daughters, I always tell them how much I love them, how beautiful their smiles are, how sweet their hearts are, how talented they are, how kind and caring they are and I thought I was doing a good job. I was making sure they “know” how wonderful they are, through mom’s eyes.
That day my 6-year-old daughter was telling me about what she learned at school, how her day had been and then she told me that she wanted to be as talented in art as her friend, and that she would love to have her friend’s hair.
It was at that specific moment that I realized that no matter how many times I tell her how beautiful she is, how smart and talented she is, if she doesn’t tell that to herself she won’t believe it. She needs to see herself through her own eyes. I am not saying that I want her, myself or anybody to become self-centered or narcissistic by any means, I am talking about healthy self acceptance, self love, and being okay with who we are physically, emotionally and intellectually.
How do we do it? By being present, by walking the walk and talking the talk. By practicing the mirror talk and not letting the negative thoughts invade your mind but CHOOSING to replace them and guiding your sight to the aspects you like about yourself. There has to be at least one. Do you want to try?
I love my beautiful eyes, my long eyelashes, my warm heart, my honest smile, my charismatic way of talking to people. It feels so weird – I feel like I am talking about someone else, because I am not used to doing this. I am just trying to focus on what makes me me, what makes me unique.
If I had the chance to practice this when I was a child maybe it wouldn’t feel so strange now. So parents…before it’s too late, let’s try to actively teach our kids self-acceptance and self-love. Have them repeat all of those wonderful things you like about them to themselves and have them become kind people.
People that care about themselves, will not hurt themselves physically or emotionally. They won’t hurt themselves with negative thoughts about themselves. They would choose to think healthy, eat healthy, and be healthy…because who would hurt someone they love?
So I am willing to take the chance and be aware of the way I talk to myself and guide my daughters to do the same. I am choosing to love, respect and accept myself and teach my daughters to do the same. Will you choose to do the same?